The self is a rather troublesome thing, I suppose.
We don’t truly understand who we are, yet we try so hard to protect this mysterious identity—clutching at it, trying to solidify it. But this very effort only makes things more complicated.
It might be easier to find a way out if we think of the problem not as the “self,” but as the “ego.” The ego is the conscious part of our mind. Because the world is constantly shifting and we are always swayed by others, the ego feels insecure. It desperately wants to protect itself and find more happiness. To achieve this, the ego tries to build a solid, immovable house within the mind, believing that once it’s finished, it can finally live in peace. However, this endless construction work is exactly what makes our daily lives so painful.
There is a teaching from the Buddha:
Humans wander through life trying to build an unshakeable home in their hearts. But such a thing does not exist. Even if we could build it, it would change in the next moment. A home that lasts forever can never be completed.
We need to notice the ego’s frantic struggle to build this “solid house” and recognize the Tanha—the unquenchable thirst—behind it. When we realize we don’t need to build an unshakeable home, peace of mind finally arrives. By being freed from this struggle, I believe we can become just a little kinder to others.